- Showing Impatience: You may not demonstrate enough patience with, and around, them. Kids need to be allowed to be kids, but you might want them to be more like you – quiet, reserved, not so messy, etc… They need to be taught patience and they learn what they see, and you may be showing just a little impatience day after day… so they become impatient.
2. Not enough Quality Time: Do you spend enough quality time with them? Because of the busyness of your life, sometime you may feel there’s not enough time to listen to their banter, play games with them or read to them daily. You may spend very little quality time with your youngsters, or give them things to make up for the lack of togetherness. Sure, you can more easily give things than your time, so giving things becomes the substitute for time. Most of these things are fun and entertaining for a while, but what they really need, in order to develop, is more of your focused and undivided attention.
3. Wrong reaction to children’s Mistakes: You may inadvertently be teaching your kids that mistakes and failures are bad (among many other self-esteem beliefs). Children will naturally try lots of things, so they make lots of mistakes; and if you frequently scold them when they make a mistake, they learn that mistakes are bad. When they believe this, they are afraid to try new things for fear of making a mistake or of failure. This negative self-esteem belief, and many others, holds them back their entire lives.
4. Being too Protective: Some parents are always trying to rescue their kids from bumping their heads or keeping them away from every form of danger and not letting them experience any hardships. “Don’t do this, watch out for that,” etc.… and they never really learn to fend for themselves.
5. Avoiding or not answering the “Why…” Questions: Kids naturally want to know as much as they can, and ultimately, they want to know everything you know. The best way they learn is to ask you and others, “Why…?” and the best thing we can do is patiently answer their incessant questions to the best of our ability.
6. Not Starting Chores Early Enough: Most parents don’t start kids off early enough on daily chores. They need to learn there are daily chores that need to be done in a household. Even a 2 year old can put silverware away, straighten shoes and boots, and pick up toys.
7. Too frequently acting as a Referee: Do you always play “referee” and get involved in breaking up normal squabbles between your kids? Kids need to learn how to settle some of their own battles. You shouldn’t be the peacemaker, judge and jury of all their disagreements, but you should coach them now and then.